Oh Maryland!

When my kids were teenagers, I wrote a blog to document some of the insane things that they would say.  I called it Teenage Quote of the Day.

Some of the entries included titles such as "I got it pierced in art class" and "What's the best way to put out a fire in a plastic trash container?"

Now that my kids have grown into reasonable and intelligent adults, I'm always looking for humans who will make my eyes roll and put a smile on my face at the same time.  Turns out, all I had to do was listen to the conversations going on around me on the beach in Ocean City, MD.

Here are a few examples from my sand neighbors last Sunday:

"She'll stop crying soon.  There's a boob on the way"

"Dad, can you get my back?" 

"Who left all this shit by the car?"  (It was Anthony.  It's always Anthony)

To be fair, everyone seemed a bit stressed out on the beach last Sunday.  It was sort of cloudy and the water was pretty cold.  People seemed to be cranky and tired.  Maybe they were all thinking about the long drive home that was ahead of them, or maybe some were enduring the typical tension that occurs during the first day or two of a family vacation (ugh - I don't miss that).

July 4 is coming up and there's a ton of stuff to do at the DE/MD beaches.  Rehoboth Beach has scheduled their fireworks display for Sunday, July 2 at approximately 9:15.

Ocean City is keeping it real and holding their Independence Day events on Independence Day (Hey Rehoboth - that's July 4!) at two locations - uptown at Northside Park and downtown on the beach/boardwalk at North Division St.  Fireworks and concerts will be at both locations starting at 8 PM.

To celebrate my upcoming long weekend at the beach, I wrote a new poem:

When I'm at the beach, I wear less clothes,

There is no Target or Trader Joe's.

I drive Coastal Highway with sand in my trunk,

And pass by Seacrets where the bitches get drunk.

On the boardwalk, I eat french fries,

That is why I have fat thighs.


Hope you all have a very safe and very happy 4th of July!