Once again, it seems that it's time to brush up on our beach etiquette.
From what I've seen, heard, and read, some people seem to think they are unseen and unheard by others while they are on the sand.
Example: On Monday, July 27th, a Frederick, MD couple (ages 20 and 23) were arrested and charged with indecent exposure and possession of an open container of alcohol. Apparently this couple was "engaging in sex" less than 100 feet from the boardwalk. Perhaps the open container of alcohol had something to do with this.
To prevent arrest or, simply, pissing off your fellow sand-mates, here are some simple beach etiquette rules you should follow:
1. Keep the beach PDA G-Rated
Sun, sand,surf and nearly naked bodies are natural aphrodisiacs. I get it. But keep it on the surface and save the deep diving for the condo.
2. Don't Encroach Others Towel Territory
When you think you've found the perfect spot on the sand, please be mindful of those who came first. There is a certain respectable distance that should be kept between sun worshippers. Depending on the crowd at the beach, this should be anywhere from 4-6 feet minimum.
3. Hold It In
People seem to be very divided on whether or not it's ok to pee in the ocean. Since I remember doing this as a child, I can't preach and tell people that it's a sin. I will say that it would be awfully nice if you were to move away from other swimmers so that no one gets slapped by a warm wave carrying your urine.
4. Use Your Inside Voice
People think that they have to scream over the sound of the crashing waves in order to be heard by their friends and family. The problem is that the entire beach can hear them as well. If you need to discuss personal matters, get closer to the individual that you want to talk to and speak in a normal tone. Seriously. You are so fucking annoying.
5. Don't Feed The Seagulls
Why do people even think that this is entertaining? How would they like it if we all showed up to their house in Pennsatucky, PA with nuts and cheese for all of the squirrels and then left town?
6. Fill In Your Sand Hole
You though it was fun to bury all of your friends up to their necks. After you've posted your photos of this debauchery on social media, be sure to fill in your hole to prevent sprained ankles and lost children.
7. Stay Home
If your kids are miserable, your fighting with your mate, or you have had a little too many Orange Crushes, please do everyone else a favor and just don't go to the beach. Most of us have just a precious few vacation days to spend on the sand and we don't want to share it with dramatic sourpuss people.
C'mon people! Dave Grohl and Ryan Philippe were vacationing at the Delaware beaches last week! Do we really want to act like fools when big celebrities are in our towns?
I'm trying not to turn in to one of those people who can't wait for October and the end of the tourist season. Truthfully, bad beach behavior is one of my greatest forms of entertainment right now. Last weekend, I saw a girl wearing an ankle bracelet (not the jewery kind) and my husband and I just had to walk to the surf to see if it was water resistant, or if she had to put a Wonder Bread bag on it or something. Sometimes I scare myself when I think of how easily amused I am these days.
Here's hoping for another sunny week in the DE/MD resort towns! Enjoy these last precious weeks of summer!
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